Continuation of a conversation from DBB

"I've decided to take up killing everyone who disagrees with me

That seems to be the most popular approach lately, and it also has a long and distinguished history.
by revken

I'm not thinking you'll be very good at this.

by Merwinly 

Yeah, you're probably right ...
I’m not even very good at killing people in video games.
I’m hoping that same day we’ll realize that trying to police the world isn’t the answer, either. But it’s a persistent human problem that we struggle to stay engaged without also trying to be in control.
by revken"

Since many of my readers won't know rev, I'll start by saying he's not really going to "take up killing everyone".  He's as likely to do that as I am, I'd say.  And also, he probably already understands everything I'll say below, but I wanted to say what I had to say.

Rev, I wanted to address your last two lines, but DBB wasn't the appropriate place, so here goes.

"I’m hoping that same day we’ll realize that trying to police the world isn’t the answer, either. But it’s a persistent human problem that we struggle to stay engaged without also trying to be in control."

Why do people try to control things?  The answer is usually because they feel out of control.  They "feel" out of control.  And, until mastered, that's a bad feeling.  One of our jobs in life is to learn how to be comfortable with not being in control.  When we do that, it gives us the ability to engage without controlling.

The Buddhists have a saying, "taking refuge in the present moment".  That's how I've learned to cope with feeling out of control.  I take refuge in the present moment.  I sit and refuse to think about the past or the future.  I recognize how wonderful I feel in the present moment.  I usually still "feel" unpleasantly out of control, but it allows me to not react to those feelings.  "No.  I'm okay.  Stay present" is a common mantra for me.

So, if people could learn to be okay with feeling out of control, that would free them to engage without controlling.  And then the world would be a better place.

Thoughts, good rev (or others)?  You can email me if that's easier than commenting: merwinly@gmail.com

Thanks for reading.