The cart before the horse

In this article, the author talks about a new study that discusses why schizophrenia starts during the teen-age years.  The abstract from the study discusses how they studied teen brain development and then says, "we argue that developmental variation of this consolidation process may be relevant both to normal cognitive and behavioral changes and the high incidence of schizophrenia during human brain adolescence."  My reading of this is that they believe brain changes during adolescence lead to schizophrenia.

Just like with the article on ADHD that I wrote about recently, I believe science is coming to understand the biological mechanics of schizophrenia, but misunderstanding the cause. I believe that stresses during adolescence, combined with poor adaptive/emotional skills and possibly a genetic pre-disposition, cause the brain changes which cause schizophrenia.  I do not believe that biological variance causes schizophrenia.  

My hope is that science will eventually start investigating emotions and emotional health as a very common cause for disease.

Link: Chad Novak

This is an interesting article.  Chad Novak, a life-counselor, yoga instructor and spiritual facilitator is organizing a retreat in Ludington, Michigan to help men start their spiritual journey.  I spoke with him in an e-mail exchange about his plans.  "What I'm looking to create here is a starting point for men to start to go inside in a safe and explorative environment."  He said that he's noticed a quite a difference between men and women in how open they are to their emotions, something I've absolutely noticed as well.  

"During the retreat we will be exploring how we're showing up in the world. What patterns have been reoccurring throughout our lives and finding the common thread within ourselves."  I think this is really important.  I wrote a blog post a while back about the West-African Adinkra symbol, Sankofa, which means, "return and pick it up", referring to those patterns.  And, from an emotional mechanics point of view, I think those patterns are what I call "emotional structures".  Ways that we interact with our emotions that differ from the normal, healthy approach.  When we can identify those structures, we regain the ability to set our own course in life.  Focusing on these patterns in a retreat is a great idea.

He also said, "One of the biggest things that we will be talking about is how to face your pain and suffering without running away from it."  If you know someone who doesn't struggle with this, I'd like to talk to that person.  And I'm not talking about people who just ignore their internal struggles.  My grandmother has told me many times how my grandfather used to tell her, "just face it.  Whatever it is, face it."  That's been a great source of inspiration to me, throughout my adult life.  To know that Chad will be working with people to help them face their pain inspires me too.

If you are interested in attending his retreat, his contact information is at the end of the article I linked to at the top.  From the article and my conversation with Chad, I believe he really understands these issues and I think his retreat will be a great experience.  You should check it out.

Quote: Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." 

ADHD study

A new study from the University of Toronto concludes, "Women with ADHD are much more likely to have a wide range of mental and physical health problems in comparison to women without ADHD."  

I believe strongly that ADHD is a behavioral disorder, not a bio-chemical disorder. Doctors will say that they can measure chemical changes in the brains of people with ADHD and that proves it is a bio-chemical disorder.  I believe that behavioral differences in people with ADHD cause changes in their brains, which cause ADHD.  So, yes, I believe doctors can measure the chemical changes in the brain.  I just don't think those changes start in the brain.  They start with behavior.  

I believe that people with ADHD are disconnected from their emotions.  If they were to learn, over time, how to express their emotions in direct connection with the events that caused those emotions, I believe their symptoms would subside.

The study says, "The prevalence of mental illness among women with ADHD was disturbingly high with 46% having seriously considered suicide, 36% having generalized anxiety disorder, 31% having major depressive disorder and 39% having substance abuse problems at some point in their life".  All of these are to be expected in people who do not correctly express their emotions.

The answer is for people everywhere to learn how to correctly express their emotions.  If that were to happen, this is just one of many diseases that could be eradicated. Obviously, that is a difficult goal to achieve.  I believe if we start educating people now, maybe thirty or forty years from now there will be significant change on a cultural level. So spread the word.  Let people know that healthy emotions lead to healthy people.  And be a role model.  Teach yourself how to express correctly.  Your children and your children's children will thank you for it.

Continuation of a conversation from DBB

"I've decided to take up killing everyone who disagrees with me

That seems to be the most popular approach lately, and it also has a long and distinguished history.
by revken

I'm not thinking you'll be very good at this.

by Merwinly 

Yeah, you're probably right ...
I’m not even very good at killing people in video games.
I’m hoping that same day we’ll realize that trying to police the world isn’t the answer, either. But it’s a persistent human problem that we struggle to stay engaged without also trying to be in control.
by revken"

Since many of my readers won't know rev, I'll start by saying he's not really going to "take up killing everyone".  He's as likely to do that as I am, I'd say.  And also, he probably already understands everything I'll say below, but I wanted to say what I had to say.

Rev, I wanted to address your last two lines, but DBB wasn't the appropriate place, so here goes.

"I’m hoping that same day we’ll realize that trying to police the world isn’t the answer, either. But it’s a persistent human problem that we struggle to stay engaged without also trying to be in control."

Why do people try to control things?  The answer is usually because they feel out of control.  They "feel" out of control.  And, until mastered, that's a bad feeling.  One of our jobs in life is to learn how to be comfortable with not being in control.  When we do that, it gives us the ability to engage without controlling.

The Buddhists have a saying, "taking refuge in the present moment".  That's how I've learned to cope with feeling out of control.  I take refuge in the present moment.  I sit and refuse to think about the past or the future.  I recognize how wonderful I feel in the present moment.  I usually still "feel" unpleasantly out of control, but it allows me to not react to those feelings.  "No.  I'm okay.  Stay present" is a common mantra for me.

So, if people could learn to be okay with feeling out of control, that would free them to engage without controlling.  And then the world would be a better place.

Thoughts, good rev (or others)?  You can email me if that's easier than commenting: merwinly@gmail.com

Thanks for reading.

Focus on the soul alive

"You gotta know that some people are soul dead;  they will never hear.  They have no ability to do anything but promote evil.  If I can say one thing to you, focus your energy on those who can hear."  -from Yearning Wild by R. Glendon Brunk

A silver lining to the Trump presidential candidacy is that it puts all the "soul dead" people into one group:  Trump supporters.  We can recognize that they will never hear and move on.  The problem is that it is incredibly difficult to move on when you hear all the vile filth they spill forth into the world.  I believe the racial violence we've been experiencing is exacerbated by his candidacy.  How do you ignore that?  I think that the answer is a national recognition of the concepts from the Brunk quote above and a commitment from people of conscience to continual national improvement in regard to these issues.  What does that mean in practice?  It means that we purposely move the national discussion past the bigots.  We have to start discussing the ways we can improve the country and the world and stop engaging their sickness.  Engaging them makes them stronger.  They have no intention of stopping their bigotry.  "Oh!  I'm a racist!  I never knew.  I'll stop now." Right.  That's not going to happen.  And if you've engaged enough bigots you know that's true.  If we ignore them long enough, they'll have no platform for their sickness.  So, we move past them and we work together to make this a better place.

That does leave another problem though.  That problem is the need to constantly remind the oppressed that we are ignoring the bigots, not because we're okay with what they're saying, but because we don't want to engage their sickness.  I think if this were made explicit somehow, perhaps the president could speak about it, and it could become part of our collective consciousness, then we might be all right.  Good people everywhere could just ignore the bigots and look for solutions to our problems.  

I know it sounds pie-in-the-sky, but engaging bigots only results in more bigotry.  The Trump candidacy makes that clear.  Let's make America great by leaving them behind.

He has autism

and she has kindness.  It's not really that hard, but most of us struggle with it.  Mrs. Clarkson gets an A+.

That which makes Pop a master human being is also what makes him a master coach

It's fifteen minutes, so I understand not having the time to watch it.  But the point is that being able to connect deeply to your emotions makes a strong person.  Once you have that skill, it is what can put you over the top in anything you choose to do.  And it's clear to everyone that Gregg Popovich is a master basketball coach.  But it's clear to me that he's also a master human being.  Congratulations to him on both counts.

I've updated my "Welcome" tab with a link to my new blog, The Weeping Face.  At this new blog I intend to write about cultural issues when I don't feel the need to address emotion. So I'll probably top out at three posts, total.  That's a joke.  You can laugh.  

Emotion Colored Glasses will continue to be my primary blog, so don't forget about it!

Depression

If you ask a medical doctor what depression is, most will tell you that it is a chemical imbalance in the brain.  I would argue that depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain that is usually caused by a specific set of behaviors.

Most people repress the vast majority of their emotions.  After they've done that long enough, those repressed emotions start leaking out all over the place.  They have to go somewhere.  Many people take those leaking emotions and direct them at other people. The people who do this are not usually very pleasant to be around.  Angry, unpredictable, and mean-spirited is how they usually are.  A lot of people refuse this path however.  They push those leaking emotions down even harder, so that they won't leak out onto others. This is a noble sentiment.  But it's also a common cause of depression.  Those emotions junk up the emotional processing system, leaving the person with a ton of emotion inside and no way to get it out.  

For those people, there is good news.  Your depression is completely curable.  But, of course, there is also bad news.  The bad news is that it will take a lot of work.  All you need to do is get your emotional processing system working again.  To do this, cry every day.  Some days, cry all day.  It might take years.  I know.  That sounds ridiculous.  How am I supposed to live if I cry all the time?  Right?  I understand, but ask yourself this:  Am I really living now?  My guess is that you are not.  If not, the sooner the better.  

Eventually, after you've become an expert on crying, your awareness about your emotions will start to really develop.  You'll feel your emotions as soon as they occur and you'll express them right away also.  And if something prevents you from expressing right away, you'll be angry about it.  And then you'll have to learn how to handle that too.  But you'll do it.  And, over time, you'll become a person who has emotions instead of a person who is dominated by their emotions.  And, from personal experience, I can tell you that that is a wonderful, wonderful thing.

Good luck to you. 

Quote: Malcolm X

"I believe that there will ultimately be a clash between the oppressed and those who do the oppressing.  I believe that there will be a clash between those who want freedom, justice and equality for everyone and those who want to continue the system of exploitation.  I believe that there will be that kind of clash, but I don't think it will be based on the color of the skin..."

Connection

"We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness."  -Thich Nhat Hanh

From the movie, V for Vendetta:
Finch: "Who was he?"
Evey Hammond: "He was Edmond Dantés... and he was my father. And my mother... my brother... my friend. He was you... and me. He was all of us."

Spring up!

At times like this, it's hard to know what to say.  Justice and emotional health are two of the most important issues in my life.  Here and now, they are colliding.  The seemingly obvious answer to me is to sit back, breathe, and wait to see how our leaders respond. But, boy oh boy, does that seem pointless, or what?  Are the same members of Congress who've done nothing for all of these years going to all of a sudden do something real for justice?  It doesn't seem likely.  Are individual police officers or departments going to collectively rise up and put a stop to this?  That sounds absurd to me.  President Obama has spoken over and over again against gun violence, but nothing concrete changes.

So to say, in this moment, that we need to take care of our emotions and wait, seems inadequate at best and treachery at worst.  

Then what?

Thich Nhat Hanh has spoken in the past about the futility of the anti-war movements.  He said that until they can write a love letter to their Congressional representative, their actions will prove fruitless.  What he was saying was that rallies and marches and yelling and all that don't really accomplish anything, because they don't inspire the people in charge to take action.  We have to be able to connect to the people who have the ability to do something.  By connecting, real change becomes possible.  I think this is a similar situation.  No amount of talk about the problem will change what is happening.  As a society, all of us, not just black and white, have to choose to live together, without fear. And doing that requires connection.  

So take your responsibility.  Find a way to connect to someone who is different than you. Talk, smile, help, give, hug, love, or just look deeply in the eyes of someone.  And do it knowing that you are changing this broken culture of ours, one small action at a time.

"If there's a world here in a hundred years, it's going to be saved by tens of millions of little things.  The powers-that-be can break up any big thing they want.  They can corrupt it or co-opt it from the inside, or they can attack it from the outside.  But what are they going to do about ten million little things? They break up two of them, and three more like them spring up!"  -Pete Seeger

Update:  This is the opposite of what I'm saying.  Forgive me if this feels harsh to you: she is the enemy. 

Philando Castile

Regardless of the outcome of the investigation, it appears pretty clear that something very wrong happened in this situation.  I could speak all day long about racial politics in this country.  But the real problem is emotional.  I understand that they are under a tremendous amount of stress, but police officers need to get a grip on their fear.  You can't shoot someone four or five times when they reach for the license you asked them to get for you.  Clearly, that officer was terrified.  No one should be a police officer if they are walking around with enough fear to cause them to open fire on an innocent person who was sitting in his car, his weapon holstered.  And yet it seems like we have officers like this all over the country.  

What do we do about this?  Mandate on-going emotional health courses for all beat officers?  Not seeing that as likely.  Hire only African American officers?  Not enough supply to meet the demand.  Disarm police forces?  Hell yes, but since we can't even get frigging assault weapons banned here in the U.S., I don't see it as terribly likely that we'll disarm the police.

Honestly, I don't know what the answer is.  But I do know the time has come for change. Guns are involved in too much death in this country.  We need this to stop.  I will continue to talk about the impact of emotional health, because long term, that would fix everything. Right now, I'm seriously concerned that it's the only way this culture of violence will ever get fixed.

Feelin' funky?

Most people get in funks from time to time.  If you're one of them, I have some advice: self-care.  

What's really going on when we're in a funk is that we're feeling sorry for ourselves. There's probably some very understandable reason for this.  But we're still feeling sorry for ourselves and that's no good.  So instead of concerning ourselves with however we've been wronged, the best thing to do is to look at what we can do to meet our own needs. And self-care is a great place to start. 

If you're in a funk, it's possible you've started letting your self-care slip.  Long nails?  Need a hair cut?  Need some new clothes?  Missing the occasional shower?  These are self-care slip ups and good funk indicators.  Start by fixing these type of things.  If you are doing these things and still feeling funky, take it to the next level.  Is your job meeting your needs?  Is home life satisfying?  Is your mental health good?  You can keep going up level like this until you get to a point where you can say, "No.  All my needs are met well enough.  That's not the problem."  If you get to this point, it can be a bit frustrating.  You probably feel like you're taking your responsibility and things still aren't working.  That's a good time to remember the Black Elk quote:  

"You have noticed that the truth comes into this world with two faces. One is sad with suffering, and the other laughs; but it is the same face, laughing or weeping. When people are already in despair, maybe the laughing face is better for them; and when they feel too good and are too sure of being safe, maybe the weeping face is better for them to see." 

If you're in a funk, you probably think you are despairing and you need the laughing face. But I would say to you that you may very well need the weeping face.  Consider ways of interacting with people who are suffering intensely, such as serving at a soup kitchen. Seeing their suffering first-hand may help you with your funk, not to mention the good it will do for them to see that you care about, and can connect with, their suffering. 

Found!

About a week ago, I posted about being sad about something I had lost in my life.  Today, unexpectedly, it was found.  And I'm very happy about that.

KINDNESS!

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The power of silence

Twenty One Pilots sings "Car Radio".

I have already written a little about this song, but I have some more thoughts about it. I like their music very much, but this song won't leave me alone. I play the whole album and love it, but when this song comes on, everything stops so I can listen. I can't keep doing other things, even if I want to.

These are the lyrics that I really connect with:

"I hate this car that I'm driving
There's no hiding for me
I'm forced to deal with what I feel
There is no distraction to mask what is real

And now I just sit in silence"

I think the car is a metaphor for his life as a musician. But more importantly, I think he's singing and screaming quite literally about being forced to confront his emotions because there's nothing to distract him from them.  I'm a person who has spent the vast majority of my adult life experiencing my emotions, so I know how hard it is to not be able to hide from them. How exhausting to constantly feel.  How angering and alienating, feeling alone on this path.  And how courageous to not only choose to "just sit in silence", but also to sing about it. This song is a constant inspiration to me, reminding me that I'm not alone in my struggle to fully connect to my whole being and that I can do it.

Quote: Kurt Vonnegut

"I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'"  -Kurt Vonnegut

I started doing this several years ago and it's amazing how much impact it has had on my life.  I think I used to believe that being happy was normal and expected and anything else was inferior.  I've since come to understand how difficult real happiness is to achieve.  Not by any means a normal or expected state of being.  So, notice your happiness!  Anything that creates more awareness is a good thing.

Emotions in one sentence

I would like to be able to boil what I know about emotions down to one sentence.  So I'm going to be attempting that from time to time, until I feel like I've got it right.  My first try is: "Emotions are a system that requires fixing and maintenance to run at optimum performance."  I'm going to leave it at that for now and see if I feel like I need to say anything more specific in my one sentence at a later time.

More thoughts on responsibility

I've been thinking about that last post I wrote.  About the question, "do we have a responsibility to treat others with kindness?"  I wrestled with it for a while, but really couldn't get anywhere.  And then I realized why:  I don't care.  I don't care if we have a responsibility to treat others with kindness.  If we do, then great.  I'm already doing that, so it doesn't really impact me.  If we don't, I will still act with kindness toward people, because that's who I choose to be.  As far as, "do other people have a responsibility to treat people with kindness?"  That doesn't matter to me either.  There's nothing I can do about whether they meet their responsibilities or not, so there's no reason for me to concern myself with the notion.  I will continue to be kind and I will continue to seek out kind people and avoid unkind people.  That will be good enough.

Thoughts on emotions, responsibility, objectivity and interaction

Is there such a thing as objectivity when it comes to human interaction?  What are our responsibilities to others when we interact with them?  Are kindness, compassion and joyfulness objectively better than demeaning, abusive behaviors?  These are questions that I'm not sure I have the answers to.  Clearly, I feel like it is our responsibility to spread good throughout the world.  But is that really true?  Do nasty people have as much right to their nastiness as I have to my kindness?  There was a time in my life when I was not very nice.  I chose to change my direction.  But maybe that was just my choice.  Maybe that choice was no better or worse than choosing to stay nasty.  So what would make kindness objectively better than cruelty?  

It seems to me that the best way to determine objectivity is to look at the fruit which each behavior bears.  If that's the case, then it's settled.  Kindness clearly bears better fruit than non-kindness.  Kindness, compassion, and joyfulness make people feel good. Abuse makes people feel bad.  But that feels a little too simplistic to me.  It pushes the people of the world into "good" and "bad" categories.  But writing that last sentence helps me a little. It doesn't push the people into categories.  It pushes their individual behaviors into categories.  And that makes sense.  A good person can still exhibit bad behaviors.  And a person who exhibits bad behaviors is not necessarily a bad person.  They just behaved badly in a given situation.

So what are our responsibilities to others when we interact with them?  If kindness is objectively better, does that create a responsibility to treat others with it?  That's not very easy.  Going back to my concentric circles model of responsibility, our primary responsibility is always to ourself.  We have to build a relationship with our whole being. When that's accomplished, it is our job to turn out to the world and do our best to support it.  But what if we're still working on building that relationship with ourself?  Does that give us the right to treat others poorly?  I wouldn't think so, but logically it seems like it would. It seems like there has to be a different answer, but for now, I don't know what it is.  I'll be spending time thinking about it.  And I certainly hope that I come up with something else, because mean-spiritedness should not have an objectively correct place in the world.

If you have something to add, I'd love to hear it.

My emotions

I lost something that was very important to me today and it's making me incredibly sad. Always be sure to value the good things in your life.  It's important.