Reminder

If you didn't read the Dr. Gabor Maté article I linked to a while ago, now would be a good time.  Okay, any time would be a good time, but read it now.  You won't regret it.  It really is an amazing article.  I highly recommend it.  Here's a link, but it's also on the right in the Handy-dandy links.  Read, learn and enjoy, all at the same time.

My Emotions

I'm holding a ton of stress lately.  I'm not intending to.  I just can't seem to let it release.  I'd like to let it go.  I just can't seem to figure it out.  Thich Nhat Hanh says you have to be kind to your emotions.  I do that.  I used to be very negative about this type of stuff.  But not for quite some time now.  I'm patient.  Not judgmental.  It just sits there.  Okay.  

That's why I didn't post for a week or so.  My own stuff was/is all pent up.  I've been gardening and hugging my family instead of writing blog posts.  Not that that helped. Stupid flowers!  :)  I'll keep at it and hopefully have something more insightful for the blog soon.  Until then, be well.

Plant Emotions?

I just watched this video from the BBC on plants.  It was very interesting.  It talked about several different things, all of which were fascinating to me.  But what really got me was the discussion of the "root-brain" hypothesis, first put forward by Charles and Francis Darwin. This is the idea that the roots of a plant function in similar ways to the brains of animals. Even down to structures that function in ways that are similar to synapses in the brain. Science has yet to take the next step to claim that plants "think", but it's clear that that idea is no longer absurd.

No surprise, it got me thinking about emotions.  When we think about emotions, if we ask, "what is an emotion?" the answer is obvious because we know about emotions experientially.  We've felt emotions, so it's not hard to identify them.  But if we try to define what an emotion is, it gets a bit harder.  An electrical impulse?  A chemical reaction? There are impulses and reactions all over the human body.  What is the evolutionary purpose of emotions?  Maybe emotions encourage bonding, which promotes group survival? What makes it an emotion, instead of a thought?  Where it's expressed?  Thoughts are expressed in the brain, emotions are expressed in the body.  Maybe.  I don't have clear answers.  But if there were clear answers to these questions, it might help answer some other questions.

There's plenty of evidence that other animals experience emotion.  What if plants do? What if they feel?  What if they mourn?  What if they experience joy?  It seems far-fetched, but if they may be able to think, I think it's reasonable to ask if they might also be able to feel.  Should I feel guilty for walking in the grass?  Oh gosh, I ate a salad for lunch! Are my potted plants depressed because they're isolated?  My daughter was out picking dandelions earlier!  

Obviously, if we can't eat vegetables, then we can't eat animals either.  And if we can't eat animals or vegetables, I think we might be in trouble.  So there must be different answers. At this point, it feels safe to say that it's premature to worry too much about it.  Science will make it all clear with time.  But I think it's incredibly interesting, and I hope I'm around when science gets it all figured out.

Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Dr. Estes is a an "American poet, psychoanalyst and post-trauma specialist".  She is the author of several books, including Women Who Run with the Wolves and The Faithful Gardener.  She has also produced multiple audio recordings, including Warming the Stone Child; Myths and Stories about Abandonment and the Unmothered Child and The Red Shoes; On Torment and the Recovery of the Soul.    Dr. Estes is trained in story telling and she's very good at it. Her writing/story telling touches on issues that are very difficult to reach with regular words.  Warming the Stone Child particularly has had a profound impact on my life.  If you have abandonment issues (are there people who don't?) that are really bothering you, I'd highly recommend checking out all of her work.  Really, if you're interested in our deep inner-workings, you should know about Dr. Estes.  Thanks Dr. Estes!

My emotions

Isn't it interesting how emotions just hang on sometimes?  I'm angry today.  And it just doesn't want to relent.  I'm sure if I analyze it enough, I'll get to the source, but right now I'm too angry to do that.  So I'm trying to release whatever comes up and hope that'll help enough to get me where I need to be.  But for now, I'm angry.  RA!

My email

Any comments or questions?  If you don't want to leave one here, feel free to send them to me at my email address:  merwinly@gmail.com
Thanks.

Link

I know how hard it is to carve out twenty minutes from your day to watch this, but I hope you will.  I've come across Brene Brown in several places and she really has an interesting handle on life.  Here she talks about some of our deepest internal workings, such as connection, compassion, and vulnerability.  It's really good.  Enjoy. http://www.wimp.com/expanding-your-perception-by-brene-brown/

Compassion

Compassion is seeing suffering, being present with that suffering, and experiencing a desire to help end that suffering.  For months now, I've been really conscious of compassion as a main focal point of my life.  My compassion for myself and for others has grown significantly. 

I am learning to focus on the suffering of others, even when they are causing pain and misery to the people around them, including me.  It can be challenging. Sometimes I get caught "in my head" about it.  I try to think about someone's suffering, to analyze it.  That usually goes poorly.  It prevents me from experiencing their suffering, from being present to their pain.  I'm getting much better at recognizing that I'm doing that. Once I stop analyzing, feeling what they are going through becomes much easier.  I commonly don't know anything about their actual suffering, such as when it's someone I come across in public who I don't know.  But I can sense their suffering.  By allowing myself to feel that pain that emanates from them, I am able to be kind to them, even when they are not being kind to me, to others, or especially to themselves.  They may not be ready to accept my kindness, but there's nothing I can do about that.  What I can do is continue to give it.  And I'm sure some people have and will benefit from that, even if others don't.  

Beyond that, the people who are an active part of my life that I can offer compassion to will benefit from this.  I'm becoming a better listener, and I hope, a better friend, mate and father.  I'm very happy about that.

And finally, I will benefit.  I was raised with very little compassion.  So when I got to adulthood, I knew almost nothing about it.  As a consequence, I was not very nice to myself (or others) when I was a young adult.  I've been better at it for years, but this new improvement in my skills will certainly have a big affect on me.  I look forward to being more and more compassionate, to myself and to others.  "Peace in oneself, peace in the world."

Quote

"Mindfulness is Enlightenment itself. You only need a few seconds to get enlightened. Aware that you are alive, with a body that is strong enough and healthy enough – that is Enlightenment. Our body is a wonder."
— Thich Nhat Hanh

Joy

Joy is such an interesting emotion.  It can come from such unexpected places.  Last night my daughter graduated from pre-school.  We went to the ceremony at her school.  It was hilarious and I loved it.  Just watching her sit up front, all smiles, singing and waving to everybody in the crowd was so much fun.  I was able to be really present to what was happening and just enjoy it.  Pure being.

                                                                                   I Heart Huckabees

Spring!

Spring is such a wonderful time.  I love to get out in the yard and dig in the dirt, to re-connect with the Earth that has been hidden away from me by cold and snow for so, so many months.  I spent this past weekend doing that with my wife and daughter.  It made us feel so nice.  If you're having trouble with your emotions, I highly recommend finding a way to get outside, even if just for a little while.  My life definitely took a turn for the better when I committed to trying to get outside for at least a few minutes every day.  And if you can take it a step further, get your hands in the dirt.  Physically connecting to the Earth does something for the emotions that's hard to pinpoint.  Really, if you're struggling, just do it.  It's wonderful.

The Sun

The Sun Magazine describes itself as "an independent, ad-free magazine that for more than forty years has used words and photographs to evoke the splendor and heartache of being human." I encountered it many years ago. I still subscribe and read every edition, back to front. The Readers Write section is the best thing I've ever come across. It allows readers to write in about a pre-determined topic that is important to them. As a result, each short story is something that has real meaning to the person who wrote it. It is rare that a Readers Write section doesn't move me. I highly recommend a subscription for yourself and for anyone who cares about living a deeper, more internally engaged life.

http://thesunmagazine.org/

Happy reading!

Humanity

"It is no measure of good health to be well-adjusted to a sick society."  -J. Krishnamurti

With all the emotional sickness in the world, how do we connect to others and maintain our basic humanity?  Sometimes it feels like we have only two choices:  We can either isolate ourselves or deny our healthiest parts in an attempt to connect to other people.  I think this is a false dichotomy, but I often have difficulty finding the middle ground anyway. I'll continue to strive for it.  Something that give me hope is President Obama's obvious ability to connect to others on a personal level.  He's very "human", and I greatly appreciate that about him. 

http://www.sheknows.com/living/slideshow/5023/obama-and-kids/obama-and-his-inner-child

Thanks for the inspiration, Mr. President.

Unity

The brain is easily tricked and led astray.  If we live solely through it, terrible things can happen.

http://www.yadvashem.org/yv/en/remembrance/2016/

If instead, we live through our whole being, body, mind and soul, it is much more difficult for atrocities to occur.  Today, May 5th, 2016, is a good day to remember this and to re-establish our connection to our whole being, for the good of ourselves, our families, and the world.

Hope

From The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien:

Sam: [Both are overcome by exhaustion] Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It'll be spring soon. And the orchards will be in blossom. And the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And they'll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields... and eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries?
Frodo: No, Sam. I can't recall the taste of food... nor the sound of water... nor the touch of grass. I'm... naked in the dark, with nothing, no veil... between me... and the wheel of fire! I can see him... with my waking eyes!
Sam: Then let us be rid of it... once and for all! Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can't carry it for you... but I can carry you!  

Frodo's burden is causing him to lose hope.  But Sam won't let him.  Sam's memories of the Shire sustain him through his dark times, but Frodo's burden is too great.  Fortunately, he has Sam to carry him.

Thich Nhat Hanh has said that he thinks the concept of "hope" has a touch of sadness to it.  He thinks it means that we are no longer living in the present moment, but are just hoping that things will get better at some point in the future.  I agree with him and work hard to find beauty and happiness in the present.  But there are times for most people when life overwhelms us and the best we can do is maintain hope for the future.  At those times, it is important to remember our inner Samwise Gamgee.

Hiding

Twenty One Pilots has a song (link is in the right margin) called Car Radio.  My impression is that the song is about awareness, specifically about feeling our emotions.  A short passage reads:

There's no hiding for me

I'm forced to deal with what I feel

There is no distraction to mask what is real

And now I just sit in silence

How much time do we spend every day hiding from what we feel?  Society tells us to push those emotions down.  Don't feel them.  So we do.  But they lurk, just below the surface.  

Instead of reaching for a distraction any time we have a spare moment, why not sit in silence? 

Quote

"But ordinarily we do not discover the wisdom of our feelings because we do not let them complete their work; we try to suppress them or discharge them in premature action, not realizing that they are a process of creation which, like birth, begins as a pain and turns into a child." -Alan Watts in his book Become What You Are