An article on Addiction

It's an interesting article and it mentions Dr. Gabor Mate, which is good.

Can you read this without being moved?

Why?

If this doesn't bother you, it's time to do some work on your emotions

RIP, Philando Castile.

An interesting article on sleep

It doesn't mention emotional health as a cause, which is too bad.  The article describes how access to artificial light causes teens to stay up late, which causes them to get inadequate sleep.  As a result, many schools are moving back their start times in an attempt to help their students with their sleep.  The article states that this approach doesn't really work however, because the students just stay up later and mess with their biological clocks even more.  Instead,

“In all cases, cutting back on evening light will greatly amplify the benefits of a delay in school start times,” Philips said. “Any district considering a delay in school start times should therefore also be educating their students on the impacts of using artificial light at night.”

I'd be so interested to see what would happen if a school district really went after this idea.   Move the start time back a bit and then really work to educate the students and their families about decreasing their intake of artificial light in the evenings.  My guess is that they would see some mild improvement, at least for a while.  But over time, I feel confident that this approach would yield little in the way of results.

The reason is that it doesn't address emotional health.  I believe teens stay up late because they are experiencing the full range of human emotions for the first time and have no skills to cope with them.  This causes the teen to feel that issues in their life are unresolved.  They stay up late in an attempt to resolve them.  No amount of starting their day later or limiting their intake of artificial light will fix the issue if the real problem is emotional.  

What teens need is an understanding of how to process their emotions more effectively. This, of course, is very difficult.  If we wait until they are teens to start teaching them, it's a losing battle.  That's why I believe that we should be teaching emotional health skills starting in Kindergarten.  Kids that grow up knowing how to handle their emotions are kids that will have fewer problems in all areas as they get older.

The death of emotions?

From an article about the death of the smart phone:  "The idea of man/machine fusion is a terrifying one, with science fiction writers, technologists, and philosophers alike having very good cause to ask what even makes us human in the first place."  How long until humanity decides that emotions aren't really an essential part of being human?  There seems to be a lot of people living without them already.  What if technology makes it possible to bypass our emotions and live entirely through our thoughts?  That's a horrifying idea, especially because so many people would want to do it.

More than emotion is required when defining us as humans, but without emotion it would be hard to still call us human.

The Moth

How did I not know about this?  Start with this one.  You'll be glad you did.  It's short, but sweet.
Live!

Quote: Rumi

"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.  Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."

Peace in oneself, peace in the world

This article and video explain Thich Nhat Hanh's beliefs about how to best make change in the world.  At this time, it is particularly important to understand these concepts.

Insufferableness

Something that sickens me is the callous disregard that many people in our culture have for each other.  A good example of this is when white people think they know enough about race relations in our country to make a statement, but then immediately show that they really haven't thought much about it.  This action tells the victims of racism that their suffering isn't really worth thinking much about.

Those of us who have thought a lot about it and have experienced it can see right through that weak stuff because we made the same mistakes, many years ago.  Think about if you watch a kid do something.  They make mistakes that you know they'll make ahead of time, because you made the same mistakes when you were a kid.  It's all entirely predictable. It's the same way when people who haven't experienced race issues in a deep way try to make a statement about race.  They make predictable mistakes that show they don't have much experience, but they're still willing to paint themselves as the experts, by making the statement in the first place.  Imagine if while watching that kid, you realize that the kid is in a position of power over you and that the kid thinks he's smarter than you.  It's insufferable.

That insufferableness (I'm sure that's a word) bothers me and I know it bothers many others as well.  Unfortunately, it's everywhere, which is another reason why emotional health is so important:  To help us survive the insufferableness.

Alienation

Do you ever go somewhere and suddenly realize that you aren't like the other people around you?  That, on a fundamental level, you are different?  I bet some of you do.  I've seen enough of this life to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.  But I wonder how many of you feel that way because of emotions.

I went somewhere last night where there were a bunch of people interacting.  One of those people was what I call "pushed".  Not physically shoved, but propelled forward by the intensity of their own repressed emotions.  Have you noticed this phenomenon?  It happens to everyone, but sometimes it's a bit more.  And that was the case last night.  It was clear that the "push" wasn't limited to that evening.  This is an on-going problem for that person.  And clearly, it's not my responsibility, so that's not my concern.  

What did concern me, however, was the impact it had on me.  It was clear that the other people were not aware of the push.  My awareness made me an outsider.  It was alienating.  I definitely felt alone.  I took steps to address the alienation, but they failed. The others weren't interested in connection.  So, I'm left feeling isolated, still today.

I recently heard a talk by Thich Nhat Hanh where he says something to the effect of, "people are too concerned with connection".  At first, this shocked me.  I value connection highly.  As he himself says, "we are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness." So, connection is important.  He went on to talk about what I would call "hyper-connectedness", such as constant emailing, texting, getting Facebook updates, etc. That's different and doesn't really describe me, so I thought I just misunderstood.  Now I'm not so sure.

What if my problem last night wasn't with the person's "push"?  What if the problem was located in me?  Maybe instead of wanting connection I should be connecting to myself. Maybe that bad feeling inside is caused by my actions, not others'.  I have to admit that the idea makes me a little angry.  I've felt pretty alone for most of my life.  The idea that I might have caused that is upsetting.  I guess there's only one way to find out.  Meditation is a good way to connect to yourself.  It's time for me to return to meditation as a regular aspect of my life to see if developing a stronger connection within will help mitigate these feelings of alienation.

Time to get yourself together

Donald J. Trump 

✔@realDonaldTrump

Any negative polls are fake news, just like the CNN, ABC, NBC polls in the election. Sorry, people want border security and extreme vetting.

7:01 AM - 6 Feb 2017

This is truly upsetting. Where is the rest of the media right now? Every legitimate media source on the planet should be calling this out today.  "Any negative polls are fake news"?  Are you kidding me?

I hope your emotions are in a good place, because they're going to need to be pretty soon.  Any person who would say the above quote is really confused.  A President who would say that is dangerous.  It won't be long now.

Be a Home for Yourself

Probably the most important 12 minutes of your day today

This is a Ted talk on happiness and it's really excellent.  I literally laughed and cried while watching it.  Please, for your sake, watch it.

Where politics and emotions collide

Some of the best recent protest signs from the internet:

I also saw these on-line:  "Twitler" and "Make racists afraid again", both of which I thought were fantastic.

NYCDAT

If you read my last post and your reaction was "nothin' you can do about that", I ask you to think about what it will take for you to believe it's time to do something.  I understand feeling helpless.  I understand feeling too small to make a change.  I feel those things as well.  But please don't shut yourself off from this.  Saying NYCDAT and going on with your life is exactly what the offenders want you to do.  It allows them to act with impunity.  If you can maintain your awareness about how wrong these actions are, you are helping create an environment where the appropriate actions will take place.  This is a crisis.  Don't just set it aside.  Keep it in your mind.  Let it color your perception of events.  Talk about it with loved ones.  Use it to connect with strangers when the situations present themselves. Heck!  Make the situations present themselves.  NYCDAT is wrong.  YOU CAN DO IT!  WE ALL CAN DO IT! 

What will your response be?

President Trump has placed a ban on immigrants from several Muslim countries (Iran, Iraq, Libya, Somalia, Sudan, Syria and Yemen).  Immigration officials have detained people at airports who were already on flights from the countries on the list.  What's next? What if what's next is "detainment camps"?  Are you prepared to sit by and do nothing? The people of Germany largely claimed ignorance about what was going on in the concentration camps.  Are you prepared for history to view you in the same way?

We may be on the doorstep of the most dangerous moment in American history. Are you prepared?

Quote: Rainer Maria Rilke

"I beg you, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language.  Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them.  And the point is to live everything.  Live the questions now.  Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

Culture impacting emotional health

Hello dear readers.  The current political situation in the United States is causing me to blog more frequently at The Weeping Face, then I have been here at Emotion Colored Glasses.  That's not really what I want to be doing, but I feel that it's important.  I will continue to post here as often as I can, but I urge you to click over to The Weeping Face and read and comment there on what you can.  

Our country is in danger.  We need both vigilance and compassion to save it.  I urge you to be as engaged as you are able to be, both with your own emotional health, and with our current political environment.

My perspective

I believe what's most important in life is not what happens to you, but how you react to what happens to you.  For that reason, despite my intense concern for our country, I will strive to remain centered as events unfold over the next days, weeks, months, and (four) years.  I believe that is what is best for myself, my family, and the world. 
"Peace in oneself, peace in the world."  -Thich Nhat Hanh

My emotions

Today is inauguration day here in the United States.  Donald Trump is our new President. Typing that sentence should make me vomit, but truthfully, I'm numb.  I'm in the middle of a prolonged rough patch in my personal life.  Combined with today's events, I'm left walled off from my emotions.  I can only access them at the most superficial level right now. That's what happens when you feel unsafe.  I will continue to work to regain access to my emotions.  Fear will not control me.  I will be whole, despite whatever actions our new President may take.

From Barbara Bush and Jenna Bush Hager

Nicely done, with compassion.  The connections between us are what will save us.

Change your perspective for a minute

Don't see this video as a political video.  See it as two men who care deeply about each other and about what they do with their lives.  It's inspirational.  The authenticity of their mutual respect is obvious.  Congratulations to both of them on lives well lived.  May we all aspire to similarly fulfilled inner lives.

Dignity and Respect

I will always admire his manner.  The way he creates respect for himself by first respecting others.  The dignity with which he approaches each moment of his professional life. These strong inner qualities are the hallmark of a great leader and I feel glad that we've had eight years of his guidance.  I know we'll need it in the years to come.  I hope we've internalized enough of his lessons to carry us through.

Compassion in action

Beautiful.  A day well lived.

This is testing my emotional skills!

Hello readers.  I apologize for the lack of posts lately.  I've been ill for over a month.  I also have a five year old, tinnitus, a gravely ill grandmother, and a furnace that needs replacement immediately.  I hope to be writing again soon.  Be well.

What matters to you?

This is a great short video about something other than what it appears to be about.  It's only two and a half minutes.  Click the link, watch the video, and then come back to read the rest of this post.  

Pretty good, huh?  I agree.  There are signs that can be seen to stop gun violence.  I think that's important and I hope you'll think about it.  But the video brought up something else for me.  It brought up the reality that most of society's ills could be healed if we really had the will to do it.

What does the shooter in the video need?  Better emotional skills and probably parents with better emotional skills.  Violence is fueled by bad emotional health.

What do drug addicts need?  Better emotional skills.  Addiction is fueled by bad emotional health.

What do terrorists need?  They need better emotional skills to tolerate their bad situations and they need other people to bring them back into society.  Those people need to have good emotional skills to be able to do bring them back.  And the people of the world need better emotional skills to be able to welcome terrorists back to civilization, without condemnation.  Both violence and judgment are fueled by bad emotional health.

What to people suffering from mental illness need?  If they had had good emotional health in the first place, it's unlikely they would have mental illness now.  I believe most mental illness is caused by bad emotional health.

What do corrupt politicians need?  Better emotional skills.  The lust for power is fueled by bad emotional health.

What do adulterers need?  Better emotional skills.  The multiple failings that are required to commit adultery are fueled by bad emotional health.

Any societal problem you come up with can likely be healed by better emotional skills. Why do so many people lament society's ills, but have no interest in fixing those ills?